Gallifreyan Hijinks
by tromana
Summary: Four blonde girls. The Academy on Gallifrey. This is only going to end badly, right? AU Miniseries - it's back! Now with additional Amy Pond/River Song goodness! New: In The Wrong
1. Gardening

**Title: **Gallifreyan Hi-jinks  
**Author:** tromana  
**Rating:** T  
**Characters: **Amy/Zara, Charley, Jenny, Romana/Leela  
**Disclaimer:** Nope, not mine. Even the AU concept isn't mine. That's hoshinekoyasha's.  
**Summary: **Four blonde girls. The Academy on Gallifrey. This is only going to end badly, right? AU Miniseries.  
**Notes: **Written for hoshinekoyasha.

**Title: **Gallifreyan Hi-jinks: Gardening  
**Author:** tromana  
**Rating:** T  
**Characters: **Amy/Zara  
**Disclaimer:** Nope, not mine.  
**Summary: **Zara doesn't understand how and why Amy takes her stress out on weeds.

**Gardening**

There's something relaxing about turning over the reddish soil and creating something new from the land. Before she had started work here, it had all appeared so barren, so inhospitable, that the idea of anything apart from the toughest of weeds surviving seemed like an impossibility.

Amy, though she's barely two Earth years old, has already seen many an impossible thing though. So when she saw the little plot of land, she saw it as a challenge rather than inconceivable. She knew from the moment she saw it that although it may take a little hard work and a lot of patience, that she would be able to work wonders with it.

And now her hard work is just beginning to pay off.

Zara found it irritating though. The only girl in the whole Academy who understood what it was like to have that same yearning for a powerful object shunning her simply to dig up weeds was frustrating. But when she dropped by Amy's little slice of paradise, she almost understood the appeal.

It wasn't until they were kneeling together, by a plot of particularly vibrant flowers, pulling out weeds, that she realised just how relaxing gardening was.

And of course, the sweet fruit is delicious too. Though, not quite as sweet as the delicate kiss from Amy afterwards.


	2. Practicalities

**A/N: **Thanks to Hoshi for reviewing Gardening.

**x tromana**

* * *

**Practicalities**

"This is ridiculous," Charley seethed as for what felt like the thousandth time, she pulled her skirt down so it covered just a little more of her thigh. "How do they expect us to get on with these things?"

It wasn't as if she was trying anything difficult. All she'd wanted to do was climb the tree to see what the view was like, see if there was anything interesting on the horizon. When she'd been offered a place at the prestigious Academy on Gallifrey, she had practically jumped at the offer. However, the uniform was the most impractical clothing she had ever come across and she had a shrinking suspicion it was designed by the savage tutor. The one that was obviously in a relationship with the President, not that she wanted anyone to know about it. That had to be the only explanation that fit as to why the skirt was so short and the top so low cut. Leela wasn't exactly famed for her modesty, after all.

"I don't know," Jenny put in, glancing appreciatively up the tree and conveniently, up Charley's skirt. "I can see some benefits."

"Ugh, really?"

"Yeah."

"And so can Amy and Zara."

"Well I don't," she replied. "Get out of the way. I'm coming back down."

"Do you have to?"

"If it'll stop you from looking up my skirt, then yes."


	3. Brilliant

**A/N: **Thanks to MissStylishCool for reviewing Practicalities.

x tromana

* * *

**Brilliant**

When your father's the Doctor, people expect extraordinary things of you.

Teachers expect you to have a brilliant mind, which you're hiding viciously. They want to hone your 'talents' so you don't go 'off the rails' as your Dad did. Other students expect you to always have a prank or two up your sleeves. To be the life and soul of the party. To always have the quick answer.

When you don't think you even remotely compare to what people want you to be, it does get rather depressing.

Her friends, they've all been associated with her father too, but none of them seem to suffer from it. Charley is always getting into scrapes and pulling herself out of them. Zara is the prankster, you always have to keep at least one eye on her whenever she's around. And as for Amy, well, she's sweet, almost painfully so. But she always has some kind of treat for you to try, whether it be something new she's grown or a new recipe she's just tried.

Jenny's still not sure where she fits into this menagerie though.

All she knows is that the drink makes her feel more confident, makes her feel just a little better.


	4. Missing

**Missing**

"If I find out who stole my knife and replaced it with a spoon, I shall gouge your eyes out and feed them to you."

There was a collective shudder across the class and it was only when a delicate cough from the door threshold echoed around the room that anybody realised that President Romana was there at all. It didn't do much to ease the tension though. Instead, she simply walked in, ignoring the class and approaching Leela.

"Leela, a word?"

Leela nodded slightly and followed Romana out of the room. The class remained silent; they'd long since learned to stop talking. It meant they could always hear the conversation between the president and their tutor… and tell when they had stopped arguing and started kissing instead. It usually didn't take long, because Romana was always in a rush and she didn't like keeping the savage tutor away from her class for too long.

"I shall not be gouging your eyes out the spoon," Leela declared, glaring at each student in the room. "But I shall report you to Romana."

***

"You should really return Tutor Leela's knife."

Amy had checked that nobody had followed the three girls back to their dormitory. Charley was sitting, turning the object over in her palms whilst Zara reclined on the double bed. Normally, Jenny would join them, but she was in the infirmary, sleeping off yet another hangover and had missed all the day's classes. Besides, she hadn't been part of the covert operation to steal the knife, so Amy didn't have much of an issue with her.

"Why? Charley needed it so that we could break into the vaults."

"And why do we want to break into the vaults again? There's nothing down there, we've been told…"

Amy tucked a strand of blonde hair behind her ear as she slithered down the door, ending up sitting in front of it, knees bent to her chest. Zara rolled her eyes as she sat up, wondering when or even, if, Amy was ever going to develop a backbone.

"You're wrong," Charley suddenly stated. "We've been told that there's nothing down there, but how do we know?"

"Well… just hurry up and do it, okay? You know what she's like. I don't like it when Leela's angry."

"She'd never actually… what was the threat this time?"

"Gouging our eyes out," Charley piped up.

"Yeah, she'd never actually do that, cause then Romana would refuse to have sex with her. We'll be fine."

"She…"

"If it makes you feel better, we could go bake some brownies?"

"Special ones?"

"Very special ones."


	5. Shopping

**Shopping**

Anyone who implies that the shopping precinct on Gallifrey is poorly stocked, uninspired and generally awful is lying. When you have a prestigious academy filled with hormonal young men and women, it has to have some kind of standard. After all, they're impulsive, impetuous and just want to throw their money away. Cheap clothes, cheaper booze and shiny things are easy to come by, when you know where to look for them.

Charley and Amy are naïve enough not to know this. Jenny and Zara, however, are not.

So, when Amy and Zara were either curled up in some lover's tryst, gardening or both at the same time, Jenny dragged Charley out. The Doctor's daughter was surprisingly sober, for a change, hence the reason why was she actually able to do this.

Charley was dubious, at first. It wasn't as if there was anything exciting in a shopping centre and besides, so long as clothes were practical (which the uniform most certainly was not, but she didn't have much control over that), she didn't really mind. And as for alcohol, well, like any student, she didn't mind the odd tipple every now and again (or maybe every night) but she didn't feel the need to constantly have a bottle in her hands.

It was when Jenny showed her a display in the back of small shop that she understood. Gym knickers would make her feel far more comfortable climbing up things and wriggling down small holes with the short skirt on.

Of course, two days later she repaid the compliment and left a significant quantity of relatively good quality whiskey in Jenny's room for her to enjoy. And some painkillers for the inevitable hangover too.


	6. Hair Dye

**Hair Dye**

It was meant to be brown. At least, that was what the bottle said. But no, it just had to come out _green _didn't it? Instead of making her look older, more sophisticated, clever, she looked like she should have a bit part in a scary film. She lay on her bed, burying her head in the pillows, just wishing that she could wake up and find out that this had all been a terrible nightmare and her hair was still blonde.

Of course, that had no effect whatsoever.

So, she quickly decided that the best course of action would be to hide away from the others. Better that than be made a fool of. If she had the confidence of Charley or Zara, she'd just be able to brush off the inevitable jibes. If she were Jenny, she just wouldn't care.

After all, it was meant to wash out within six to eight weeks.

***

"Where's Amy?"

"She said she's sick, but I'm not sure. She should be better by now, it has been two weeks."

"Oh."

"Have you tried her garden? Asked Zara?"

"Yes and yes."

"Damn."

"Why do you want to find her anyway?"

"Leela has sent a project for her to work on whilst ill."

"Well, good luck finding her."

"Oh and will you stop stealing my drink? Surely you have enough of your own."

"Charley, honey, you should know better than anyone that I _never_ have enough drink."

***

"Zara!"

Eventually, Zara peeled herself up from her bed, fed up with Charley's incessant knocking. With a glare, she stared the human blonde down, waiting for an answer.

"Is Amy alright?"

Zara glanced over her shoulder and saw Amy doing weird hand gestures at her. She took that as meaning she still wasn't ready to see visitors, despite the fact her hair wasn't quite so green now and merely looked as though it had been highlighted with the colour instead of her having been dunked in a vat of green paint.

"She thinks the germs are… regrouping. I'd leave it a little while longer."

"Do germs do that? Regroup?"

"Obviously so."

Charley shrugged and handed over the file.

"Make sure she gets that, then."

"Will do."

***

"You owe me?"

"Pardon?"

"I've hidden you in here for nine weeks now and your hair looks fine now," Zara muttered, with a predatory glint in her eyes. "I think you owe me."

"What did you have in mind?"

"I think you know."

Tentatively, Amy approached Zara and placed a kiss on her lips. It wasn't long before they fell into bed together and Zara had her wicked way. All it confirmed was switching over Amy's hair dye had been so worth it. She'd have to think up something else to be able to do this again.


	7. Bias

**A/N: **This is marked as complete - for now. Whether or not I write more for it in the future depends mainly on how much Hoshi can bribe me, I think. Er... that's it.

x tromana

* * *

**Bias**

When she took over the role as a tutor, Romana had been rather explicit that she shouldn't show any bias between students. But Leela couldn't help it; like everything else in her life, she allowed her instincts to lead her and that included having preferences across her class.

It was never going to be Jenny. Despite the fact that the girl had the Doctor's blood running through her veins and therefore, should theoretically carry the same honour as her father, she simply didn't. She preferred to drink, turned up late for lectures and when she eventually arrived, often fell asleep. The girl simply did not care.

As for Zara and Amy, both were extremes and neither suited to Leela's preferences. Zara was always causing problems, getting in the way and wreaking havoc. Like Jenny, she didn't care about learning and was generally nuisance. Moreso, really, considering all the pranks she pulled. And Amy, well the girl was so quiet that she was barely noticeable. There was little point in nurturing what was unlikely to survive.

Charley Pollard, however. The girl had something about her. She enjoyed a mystery and wasn't scared to get into trouble. And although she stood up for herself, she didn't actively go out to cause it. Leela liked the girl and knew she could go far, if she applied herself well.

So, regardless of what Romana said, Leela knew she would have to work hard with Charley. She knew talent when she saw it and there was no point in wasting her energies elsewhere.


	8. New Girl

**A/N:** So, here we go again. Now with additional Amy Pond/River Song goodness! The next four were written for hoshinekoyasha. I think I want to write more, but I'm not sure when I will. Ideas for this verse come and go quite a lot.

x tromana

* * *

**New Girl.**

"Look at those legs."

"Those clothes."

"That hair!"

"It can't be her natural hair colour, it's too vibrant."

"I want to see!"

Amy attempted to squeeze beside Zara, Charley and Jenny, but neither budged an inch. They were too busy staring out of the tiny window at the newly arrived student. They didn't know anything about her; indeed, until two hours ago, they didn't even realise there was going to be any new intake at all. Things on Gallifrey seemed to move so slowly, that whenever anything changed, it felt like it had always been that way.

Another woman followed. She was slightly older, with a mass of blonde curls. This didn't mean much; not on Gallifrey. If they were both Time Lords, returning to the planet, they could both easily be ancient. As it was, none of the girls spying thought this. Each assumed that they were the same species as their own.

The blonde woman strode confidently up to the red head, cupped her cheeks in her hand and placed a kiss on her lips. Later, when they knew more, Zara, Charley, Amy and Jenny would dissect this with horror. But at that moment, they didn't know that River Song was to become a new tutor, nor that Amelia Pond was a new student. At that moment, there were no problems with student/teacher boundaries to be worried about.

"What's happening?" Amy whined, though nobody paid attention to her.

The girls watched as Romana greeted the girl, then the older woman. Charley gasped as the woman took the President by surprise, immediately pulling her into a tight hug and placing a kiss firmly on her left cheek.

When they left, the girls pulled away from the window and exchanged astonished glances.

"I wonder what all that was about?" Charley announced out loud.

"Dunno," Zara answered her. "Guess we'll find out later."

"I want a drink."

"You always want a drink, Jenny."

Despite that, they immediately headed up to their rooms, to open up Jenny's bottle of Jack. After several glasses, the earlier events were almost forgotten.


	9. Misbehaviour

**Misbehaviour**

"Where's Amy?"

"Amy's gone to Tutor Song's rooms for detention. _Amy's_ sulking in her rooms because Amy's also called Amy. Why?"

"No reason, just wondering."

xxx

Rushing slightly, Amy rolled up her skirt as high as was decent and pulled her top just a little bit lower before tapping on the door in front of her. A devilish smirk erupted across her face as she waited patiently for a response. This had been all too easy.

"Come in."

Amy opened the door slightly and slipped through the gap. River Song gave her an appraising look before returning the smile.

"Ah, Miss Pond."

"Yeah, I'm here for detention, like you asked."

River smirked. Both of them were struggling to keep a straight face. The older woman stood and approached her. When she had closed the gap between them, she let her shoulder brush against Amy's forearm as she leaned over and pushed the door firmly shut. Swiftly, she locked the door. They most certainly didn't want to be disturbed right now.

Amy seemed to be positively brimming with enthusiasm. They had been in a relationship for a while, before the notion of her attending the Academy had ever been brought up. Now they were here and she was in officially in training, it shifted their relationship somewhat. The idea of a tutor dating a student on Gallifrey was inconceivable, almost a taboo. It seemed like it would successfully add some more excitement and spice, something which had slowly been diminishing.

"You've been a bad girl. And only on your second day in the Academy," River stated, trying desperately to sound as authoritative as possible. "What am I to do with you, Amelia?"

"I dunno. Maybe you should teach me a lesson?"

"Maybe, you shouldn't tell me what to do, then I wouldn't have to give you detention."

"And maybe, you should stop messing around and just kiss me."

Though she knew she shouldn't, River obliged immediately. Her hands cupped Amy's cheeks and gently, she placed a chaste kiss on her lips, barely long enough for Amy to acknowledge the slight pressure she had applied. When River pulled away, Amy pouted. She didn't like it when River was playing games with her like this.

"River…"

Her voice came out as a whine. River, unable to resist, leaned forward for a second kiss. She nipped aggressively at Amy's bottom lip, causing the younger woman to squeak in surprise. Her tongue soon followed, demanding entrance which Amy was more than willing to give. Half a minute later, they pulled apart, both more than a little breathless.

"Now, on the bed."

"Pardon?"

"_Now, _Amelia. Don't forget who's in charge here."


	10. Identity Crisis

**Identity Crisis**

"Amy?"

Charley Pollard folded her arms irritably, annoyed that the blonde girl in front of her was stoically ignoring her. Eventually, she gave up calling and roughly shoved her shoulder. With a sigh, the young entity that had been created by the Grace placed her pen neatly down on the pad of paper she had been scribbling fervidly on.

"What?"

"What's all this about you wanting to be called Abby instead?"

"Well. I wanted a new start. An identity of my own. Not one created by…"

"The Doctor?"

"Exactly."

"And it has absolutely nothing to do with the fact that Amelia Pond, who started just last week, uses the name Amy too?"

"Of course not," Abby replied, albeit slightly too quickly. "Fine. Maybe a little."


	11. In The Wrong

**A/N:** Marking this fic as complete again as it's going back on hiatus. There may/may not be more to come. Depends on the plot bunnies.

x tromana

* * *

**In The Wrong**

"River."

"Romana."

River sat down opposite Romana and stared at her. The woman remained impassive as she continued working on the paperwork in front of her, barely acknowledging that River was actually there. It was obvious what she was doing: trying to make the silence so unbearable so that River would be desperate to speak. To apologise for her actions, to admit that she had been in the wrong.

But River was made of stronger stuff than that. She'd been around the blocks enough times to know (almost) every trick in the book.

Besides, she had been dating Amy for longer than she had been a tutor at the Academy on Gallifrey. She hadn't accepted Romana's offer because she wanted to teach, she'd accepted it because Amy had wanted to learn more about the Time Lords.

If it wasn't for her, she'd be more than happy to leave.

"I need you to sign this form. It's to confirm payment into your bank account."

"Oh."

Well, that hadn't been what she expected. Swiftly, she obliged, scrawling her name with the pen that Romana had offered her.

"Is that all."

"You may leave."

"Good. Thanks."

"One more thing."

"Yes?"

"No more sleeping with our students. Or, if you really insist upon doing so, at least keep it a little more secret."


End file.
